And even though it can be a wonderful job, it also has it struggles. Don’t get me wrong… IT’S AMAZING, and I am so happy to be able to work for myself, work from home and choose what I get to do with the majority of my time. I’ve created a home office space, which I personally love to work from, I get to wake up every day, make myself a coffee and go through a what is sometimes an unending list of things to get done. Why, just today I have several videos I need to edit (on of which is processing right now on my gaming and streaming PC downstairs. Several new sets I am uploading to my new membership website that just launched last week, posting to Patreon, running in a contest with a lingerie company that is nice enough to work with me, and posting to all my normal socials medias. I should eat something right about now, but hey I’ll get to that when I can. It’s also a streaming day for me (I schedule Twitch streams at least 2 times a week) and try to stay to that schedule so I don’t miss out on interacting with some of the people who are so kind to support me.
Sometimes I feel the list never ends, working at home for yourself can be ever distracting. and it takes a disciplined mind to manage so many duties while trying to not become distracted from things both around yourself and online. And let me tell you.. ONLINE IS THE WORST FOR DISTRACTIONS. As someone who relies on social media, it’s both a love and hate relationship of sorts. I need it to get my content out, constantly posting and being on top of engagement, but it also serves as a massive distraction. One glance online can send you into a spiral of never ending scrolls. It’s hard to stay focused to say the least. The solution? Having a proper space to work from. I have found it somewhat helpful to have a proper office space within your home to help you focus, with minimal things to distract you until you are done your task at hand. I’m guilty of staying in bed too long sometimes, so I do try to use that time wisely, check on posts, reply back to people and also check my emails every morning.
Scheduling shoots can also be a headache, I know most people might think that a model just shows up.. but when it comes to creating all your content, whether it be lingerie, fashion or even my cosplays. I do, and I know many others take a lot of time to scout locations, that could be doing lots of online searching, or even going to said location ahead of time to feel it out. Making sure your looks fit certain spaces is something I personally take pride in, and I like to recreate an overall feel and look to my sets. Making the content that much more enjoyable for the people watching and taking it in.
These management skills didn’t come out of nowhere, most people like to think that girls, especially models and even playmates like myself. (For those of you not aware, I hold several playmate covers and titles to my name) People tend to think you have zero skills, that you just stand there and look pretty for the camera. And I can say truthfully that this may work for some of the more famous individuals online, it is simply not the norm. Most internet models as some like to call us, work very hard, maybe even putting in more hours in the day than most people who work 8-9 hours per day. Long before working for myself, I had several jobs, a coffee barista, merchandise manager at a large bookstore, wedding caterer, theater usher, waitress, dance assistant, horticulturalist, the list literally goes on. I worked at least 1-2 jobs since the time I was 15, and even more throughout college to help pay for my student loans. All of these jobs help me gain both the skills and funds to start working for myself. It took years of modelling on the side to then make it a full time gig. And yes it may be easier work, doing our makeup, dressing up in cosplay and taking a ridiculous amount of selfies… that in itself is a skill. Most models even 10-15 years ago never did any of this themselves, and even today full production shoots have teams of people to create one single image or campaign. Hair, makeup, a good eating and workout regime, doing one’s PR and social media are all jobs within themselves. Some models and celebrities have a person if not a team doing all of those things for them, and it says a lot about an individual who is trying there best to manage all of these things. Time management is extremely important and having the drive to get as much work done as possible is no walk in the park. Add a shitty outlook from online onlookers, negative comment and distasteful judgments coming at you almost daily, you have to give credit to those who are able to smile and push through every day. Like I had mentioned, it’s not the most intellectual work, but there is an abundance of talents and aspects of a person that can make them successful.
Being hot, being sexy and showing one’s body for the sake of benefiting from it gets a lot of negativity in general, and the world still has a major issue with letting women express themselves through their own bodies, and also gaining money from it. Maybe in the future this might change, but with the hardships of social media, the banning and take down of anything considered somewhat sexual, I’m not sure if that will ever happen. Sex workers, whether full blown pornstars, camgirls or just girls that sell nude images on Patreon, are under severe attack from platforms like Instagram and Facebook. Our bodies have been deemed more violent than violence itself, and as someone who works through their social medias this is a major issue. The people that made this social medias thrive, fitness models, lingerie models and girls in general skimpy outfits are now being banned and forever deleted from the social medias that they helped gain such popularity in the first place, and in general it feels like a knife to the heart, as the content that was generally ok and welcomed when these platforms first were created is now being taken down in great numbers. Add that to the long list of work it takes to being self employed, it’s a scary thing. I’ve seen the same with Youtube, creators who once could pay bills, work from home and be creative with their content, are now struggling to keep up, due to Youtube dramatically cutting page views, and taking away ads to anything they deem not PG enough.
Our titles also seem to get dumbed down quite a bit, as a professionally published model, gracing several covers of Playboy, FHM and other magazines, not to mention having articles and videos written about my by such forums as Vice and DailySrat, I like to think I have done some great things within my short modelling career. But the words Instagram model, e-girl and just overall slut of the internet get used as a normal depiction of females who model these days. It’s a sad sight to see, and it can be a daunting task to put oneself out there so frequently with so many hateful eyes.
I’m not totally sure why I wrote all this, but sometimes it’s nice to try to express in words the side those don’t see when they think of their most loved and viewed creators! Anyways, here’s some photos I produced, and worked on. I love content creation, and as of now I won’t be stopping anytime soon!